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guardianreadersofthegalaxy · 10 days ago

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My 2024 film ranking:

Thelma [AKA ‘Not That Martin Luther King Film’] [Comedy] A 93-year-old sets out to recover the $10,000 she lost in a scam. This is so up my street. I love gently comedic dramas with thoughtful direction and beautiful music. ‘Thelma’ could so easily have fallen into realm of lazy straight-to-streaming improv, so I’m glad writer/director Josh Margolin didn’t let that happen. I’d describe the combination of action-comedy with A24-style indie pathos as a sort of Edgar Wright/Greta Gerwig mashup… if you can imagine such a thing.

Dune: Part Two [AKA ‘He’s Not The Messiah…’] [Sci-fi/fantasy] The young Paul Atreides learns the ways of the desert-dwelling Fremen. I hope the Dune series proves to be this generation’s ‘Lord Of The Rings’. Director Denis Villeneuve complements the superb visuals with a screenplay that explores the corrupting effect of power and exploitation of faith. While it’s far from standalone, DV wisely centres this instalment around a self-contained love story, which makes for a compelling and coherent throughline.

Wallace & Gromit: Vengeance Most Fowl [AKA ‘An Aardman Is Good To Find’] [Family animation] When naive inventor Wallace creates a ‘smart gnome’, a jewel-thieving penguin sees his chance for revenge. I’m so glad a children’s sequel finally stuck the landing this year. This has all the thrills, heart, and hilarious sight gags of ‘The Wrong Trousers’, plus some decent verbal jokes from the now expanded voice cast. It’s also surprising scary for a family film! Sure, Aardman gave me nightmares as a kid, but I didn’t expect the Norbots to give the entity from ‘Smile 2’ a run for its money. If it turns a generation against AI, then that can only be a good thing.

Anatomie D’Une Chute (Anatomy Of A Fall) [AKA ‘Fall Out (The Window) Boy’] – [Drama] A novelist is investigated for murder following the suspicious death of her husband. A masterclass in when and how to reveal information to the viewer. The scenes run long, like in a play, but each one builds on the last and informs the momentum of the next. I usually dislike ‘talking-in-rooms’ films, but with actors as great as Sandra Hüller and the young Milo Machado Graner, talking in rooms is fine by me.

Conclave [AKA ‘Ralph Fiennes A Pope’] – [Drama] A Vatican cardinal oversees the election of a new pope. Another primo example of the ‘talking in rooms’ genre. Ralph Fiennes leads an excellent cast of old geezers in robes, and while the endless dialogue could have left this feeling like a TV series, director Edward Berger keeps things cinematic with some flashy directorial choices. After an admittedly slow start, the plot’s riveting, though I was unsure what to make of the slightly random final reveal. Lose the last five minutes and you’d have had a perfect ending.

Between The Temples [AKA ‘Mitzvah Wonderful Life] – [Comedy] An awkward synagogue cantor finds new purpose when he reconnects with his elementary school music teacher. Not a huge amount to say about this one, just a sweet oddball comedy about finding unlikely love amid midlife depression. The constant shaky-cam gave me motion sickness, but the jokes made up for that.

Blitz [AKA ‘Goodnight Mr. Bomb’] – [War] A mix-raced Blitz-evacuee jumps off the train and returns to London to find his mother. I’ll start by praising James Harrison’s merciless sound design that greatly contributes to the film’s sense of danger. The plot’s pretty bare, more a series of episodic vignettes our hero encounters as he ‘Finding Nemo’s his way back to mum. But McQueen’s direction puts you right in George’s little shoes. It’s a brutal experience, but with just enough hope and kindness to keep you from despair.

Poor Things [AKA ‘FrankenStone’] – [Black comedy] A woman with a child’s brain ventures out into the world for the first time. The best I can say is that it made me think and it made me laugh. Amid the weird and nasty elements, there’s an interesting coming-of-age story about a child discovering philosophy, society, and sex. Cut 15 minutes off either end and it would have been tighter, plus you’d lose the headache-inducing black and white.

Rebel Ridge [AKA ‘Boys In Blue Ruined’] – [Thriller] A former marine vows revenge on a small town police department after they confiscate his cousin’s bail money. Director Jeremy Saulnier’s (arguable) crossover to the mainstream lacks some of the indie trappings of the grittier ‘Blue Ruin’ and ‘Green Room’, but that’s fine by me. ‘Rebel Ridge’ swaps moral ambiguity for perfectly gauged good vs evil. Challenging the world’s worst police department is Aaron Pierre’s Terry, a badass with the fighting skills of John Wick and the morals/politeness of Paddington. The final showdown’s a bit limp and bloodless, but satisfying all the same.

The Imaginary [AKA ‘From Rudger With Love’] [Family animation] A child’s imaginary friend confronts the fact he will one day be forgotten. I had my reservations during the mid-point lore-dump, but The Imaginary manages to sidestep potential pitfalls, provided you watch it with your heart more than your brain ie. ‘Tenet mode’. Unlike say most Pixar films there’s no obvious thesis, just lots of themes and images, so it’s pretty subjective. But while it took a while to win me over, by the end I was in tears and not quite sure why… the gorgeous music and animation can’t have hurt.

Challengers [AKA ‘Throuple’s Tennis’] – [Drama] A retired tennis player coaches her husband in a match against her ex. I’m impressed how, for a film with only 3 characters to bounce off one another, its non-stop sexual mind games were able to hold my attention for (nearly!) the full 130 minutes. It’s intense, full of slow motion, aggressive sound design, and abrupt blasts of Trent Reznor’s Work Out/ Make Out Mix.

How To Make Millions Before Grandma Dies [AKA ‘If King Lear Were An Old Thai Lady’] – [Drama] A young man cynically plans to get in his grandmother’s good books in the hope of inheriting her house. Arguably a bit predictable, but well executed all the same. I liked the humour, Jaithep Raroengjai’s gentle score and Usha Seamkhum’s performance.

The End We Start From [AKA ‘A Wet Place’] – [Drama] A new mother cares for her baby in the aftermath of a catastrophic flood. You can tell this was based on a book from the many long, pensive pauses that imply unheard internal monologues. Both plot and dialogue are bare bones and leave much to the imagination, so there’s plenty of room for stunning, drizzly nature shots and Anna Meredith’s beautiful score. My only gripe was the irritatingly quirky presence of Katherine Waterston.

Inside Out 2 [AKA ‘Peep Show… For Kids!’] – [Family animation] A thirteen-year-old has to cope with an influx of anxiety and other new emotions. 2015’s ‘Inside Out’ was probably the best possible version of its own concept. Now Pixar have opted (admirably) for a flawed variation rather than try to recreate perfection. It still looks as great as ever, though I mourn the absence of composer Michael Giacchino. Suffice it to say I laughed a lot, but didn’t end up needing any tissues.

The Holdovers [AKA ‘Teacher Movie’] – [Drama] A teacher, a student, and a cook at a 1970s boarding school are forced to spend the holidays together. This is what I call a ‘plane film’ in that it’s reasonably good but also totally forgettable. My gripes were that the characters got too familiar with one another too soon, leaving no room for growth, and that Da’Vine Joy Randolph’s Mary lacked any flaws or development.

Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga [AKA ‘Cars’] – [Action] In a post-apocalyptic wasteland, the young Furiosa seeks revenge on the warlord Dementus. A less focused, less satisfying follow up to ‘Fury Road’, but still miles ahead of most modern action. ‘FR’s frenetic editing has been subbed out for carefully choreographed long takes, but the practical effects and thesaurus-reliant dialogue remain. Anya Taylor Joy’s not given much to work with, but Chris Hemsworth shines as the cruel but pitiful Dementus. I can’t wait for him to be upstaged by a co-star in his own prequel.

Woman Of The Hour [AKA ‘You Plonker, Rodney!’] – [Thriller] The true story of serial killer Rodney Alcala’s 1978 appearance on a dating game show. If actor-director Anna Kendrick’s main goal was to portray the sickening anxiety of living as woman, then mission accomplished. I hated it, but do now feel very lucky. Given the horrific nature of the real events depicted, it feels petty to complain that it doesn’t totally fit into a satisfying narrative. Even with some flashing back and forth to create a stronger beat to finish on, the ending still took me a bit by surprise. I feel restricting the thriller to Sheryl’s encounter with Alcala would have kept it more focussed, and would have eschewed the arguably exploitative scenes of violence.

The Wild Robot [AKA ‘Crying Gosling’] – [Family animation] A robot washes up on a remote island and raises a baby goose. Best watched on Mother’s Day. A bit of a let-down for most of the runtime, but it won me over in the last half hour and I really got invested. A lot of the emotional beats felt forced, with heavy-handed music – it’s telling that the one moment that did nearly make me cry was silent. The constant rush of colours and movement often made me nauseous, but I can’t deny the beauty of the faux hand-drawn animation.

Paddington In Peru [AKA ‘Mrs Brown’s Bears’] – [Adventure] Paddington follows his aunt Lucy on a quest through the Amazon. New director Dougal Wilson makes a fair attempt to recreate the charm of the first two Paul King films, sometimes successfully. Sadly, the script’s just not as tight, nor are the visuals as imaginative. And the ending briefly flirts with going in a terrible direction for the sake of a manufactured tear-jerk and fakeout. Still, it’s unmistakeably Paddington, and I did have fun, especially when Olivia Colman was on screen.

Smile 2 [AKA ‘Smiley Virus’] – [Horror] A troubled pop star becomes the latest tormentee of a malevolent smiling entity. Giving this three stars, one for each of its brilliant set pieces: the cold open long take, the horrific conclusion, and the bit with the dancers. That said, the problem with unrelenting nightmares is that they can be a bit unrelenting. Writer/director Parker Finn doubles down on the hopeless tone of the first ‘Smile’ to create a flat rollercoaster of misery. Probably the scariest horror film I’ve ever seen, but far from the best.

Sous La Seine (Under Paris) [AKA ‘Swim Away!’] – [Thriller] A team of attractive boat cops search for a monstrous shark in the river Seine. Sous La Seine toes the line between so-bad-it’s-good and actually good. It’s full of cheesy music moments of cringe and soap opera-level characterisation, but blends those with genuine tension and looks good doing it. And I loved the delightfully evil mayor, who gives the ‘Jaws’ mayor a run for his money. Or should I say, ‘a swim for his money’! Haha.

Wicked [AKA ‘Glin Da Heights’] – [Musical] A green woman who’s known only racism has the profound realisation that the government… is racist. A mixed (and very long) bag. Most of my criticisms stem from the source material – I found the songs generic, and can’t tell why Elphaba’s so shocked by the Wizard’s heel turn, making the extremely milked ending fall flat for me. The real wizard is John M. Chu, who can direct a hell of musical set piece. I also never knew Ariana Grande was so funny, and her enemies-to-friends ‘womance’ with Cynthia Erivo’s Elphaba was the peak of the film. Shame there was a whole hour left after that.

La Passion De Dodin Bouffant (The Taste Of Things) [AKA ‘Yum And Yummer’] – [Drama] Love, life, and cooking in 19th Century France. Before this I didn’t realise it was possible for a cinema full of people to audibly salivate. On top of all the fetishy food-shots, I like the ‘Van Gogh’ aesthetic – cicadas, absinthe, art nouveau… but found the film lacking in emotion. The absence of music may have enhanced the immersive sound design but it didn’t do the bare-bones narrative any favours.

El Cuco (The Cuckoo’s Curse) [AKA ‘Womb/Off’] – [Horror] A pregnant woman and her husband swap homes with an elderly German couple. Very much a tale of two halves. It starts off as an unfocused mess of disconnected themes and imagery, but greatly improves when it gives up on being an A24 knockoff and turns into Face/Off. More modern horror would benefit from abandoning ‘prestige’ and leaning more into camp.

Longlegs [AKA ‘Cage Fright’] – [Horror] A psychic FBI detective investigates a series of murder-suicides with links to her own past. For me, this worked better as a horror than as a police procedural. The many research montages had me yawning, but the creepier sequences fared better, mostly thanks to Osgood Perkins’ competent direction. Acting-wise, Maika Monroe and Nicholas Cage do okay yin/yang performances as The Subdued Detective and The Crrrazy Serial Killer.

Godzilla Minus One [AKA ‘I’m Burning Japanese, I Really Think So’] [Disaster] A failed kamikaze pilot confronts his survivor’s guilt in the form of the monstrous ‘Godzilla’. I can’t believe it’s not Marvel. Everything from the decent dialogue, to the competent characterisation, sufficient special effects, mediocre music, and acceptable action left me thoroughly ‘whelmed’. Its only points of divergence from bog-standard Hollywood fare were some nice colour grading, a more serious tone, and a genuinely cool heat-ray effect.

Civil War [AKA ‘Snapped In America’] – [War] A team of reporters brave the front lines on their way to interview a besieged US President. Decent execution but zero points for originality. The spectacle’s well done, but the often-corny screenplay is full of tropes and scenes cribbed from older (if not necessarily better) films. It’s a shame, the images of war-torn Americana could have made for a fascinating photography exhibition.

Hit Man [AKA ‘Ten Stings I Hate About You’] – [Crime/romance] A undercover fake hit man falls for the woman he’s trying to entrap. Maybe the reason this seems so generic is, ironically, that it’s a formula you don’t see much any more ie. two attractive leads + some jokes + mild peril = total plane film. It’s passably entertaining, but I disliked the lazy use of voiceover, boring direction, missed opportunities for tension, and Glen Powell being simply too handsome for me to root for.

Deadpool & Wolverine [AKA ‘Terrence & Phillip’] – [Comedy] It’s Deadpool 3… and Hugh Jackman’s in it… and they’re in the MCU now, okay? Is this what 12-year-old boys see when they watch ‘Rick & Morty’? All the sex jokes and none of the Douglas Adams? For better or worse, Reynolds has taken his schtick to the MCU, with all that entails: bloated runtimes, cameos, scripts that feel like a first draft but also like they’ve been picked to shreds. It’s mainly rubbish, but it did make me laugh. And I like that it normalises same-sex flirtation for what could otherwise be quite a macho character, albeit in the crudest way possible.

Jackdaw [AKA ‘Yorvik Biking Centre’] – [Crime] A dirt biking army vet must rescue his brother from a gang boss. A product of the ‘take x subculture and set a thriller in it’ formula, the subculture this time being Newcastle ravers. There was a strong aesthetic, with more drizzly streets and blaring tail lights than you can shake a The Batman at, but it suffered whenever things went indoors. I found it hard to care about its stock characters, its Darth Vader-reveal, or its Kill Bill Vol. 2-anticlimax.

The Critic [AKA ‘The Wicked Wizard Of The West (End)] – [Drama] In 1930s London, a gay theatre critic hatches a fiendish plan to get his job back. Halfway through this, one character says “why be so predictable?” and another replies “why be so cheap?” They’d have written my review for me if they’d also said “why use so many ultra-closeups?”, “why cast Gemma Arterton?”, or “why do that cliché thing where a character yells in frustration while shaking a steering wheel?”. One star each for the subtle/sassy (respectively) acting of Mark Strong and Ian McKellen.

Kill [AKA ‘The Shit Train Robbery] – [Action] An Indian commando fights to save his in-laws from a family of train robbers. People comparing this to ‘The Raid’ need to get that masterpiece’s name out of their fucking mouths. They’re both bloody, but the similarities end there. I think the train setting was a mistake, as it didn’t provide enough variety of locations. Claustrophobic action is hard to shoot with a clear sense of geography, and in ‘Kill’ it is not shot with a clear sense of geography. Also, the ultraviolent revenge kills might have been satisfying had the baddies (aside from the brilliantly odious Fani) not been such a bunch of wusses.

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